You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
