O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
