girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
