Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
