It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
