shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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