You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
