I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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