in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
