maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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