..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
