Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
