It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
