like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
