so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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