Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
