in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
