I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
