There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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