try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
