Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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