I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
