I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
