Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
