doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The feeling are messing with the penis
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
