is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
