my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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