honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
