my phone needs a breathalizer
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
