Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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