Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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