My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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