I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
