I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
