That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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