He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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