i jhust puked up my retainher.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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