Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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