I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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