Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
