i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
