we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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