i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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