I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
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Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
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Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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