Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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