McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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