Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
