sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
