Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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