what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
