i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
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I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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