In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
