I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
