I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just gift wrapped bread.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I AM VODKA MAN
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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