He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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