i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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