How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
