Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
