fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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