Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
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I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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