im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Floor bacon is actually really good
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
