brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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