You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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