You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
