Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
