Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
