You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
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Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
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Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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