Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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