Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
