How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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